New Beginnings
by gamerchick02
Summary: Inspector Lynley Mysteries: Havers is lead on a case, and Lynley and Havers get closer after Helen's death.
1. Sadness to Happiness

Title: New Beginnings  
Author: gamerchick02  
Show: Inspector Lynley Mysteries  
Pairing: Lynley/Havers  
Genre: Romance/Mystery  
Rating: R  
Disclaimer: I just play with them. No money changed hands, etc. If I was one of TPTB, I would have had L/H together way earlier.  
Summary: Take chances, make mistakes, get messy.  
Spoilers: Everything that's aired on American TV so far this year.  
Notes: WIP. I've updated this to reflect some of the suggestions I got through livejournal.

* * *

It was a cold, dark morning when DI Thomas Lynley was awakened quite rudely by his piercingly loud clock alarm. He rolled over to find empty space in his queen-sized bed. Helen was not there. _She will never come back_ he thought, sadly. His hand had only silenced the alarm for five minutes, then it went off again. He groaned, then turned it off properly. _Now it won't bother me_. He pulled the covers over his head and reveled in the protection of them. 

He was starting to drift off again, when he heard another bell go off. "What in the bloody fucking hell is that?" he grumbled as he stared at the alarm clock. He smacked it with his hand, but the sound kept on going. _Telephone. It's my fucking mobile._ With a grunt and a sigh, he jogged over to the dresser. The caller ID said "Havers". He flipped open the phone and answered, " 'Ello?"  
"Sir, it's Barbara," said Havers on the other side of the connection. She sounded distant. She was probably on her mobile, in the car.  
"I bloody well know who you are. What the bloody hell do you need?"  
"Uhm. Sir, there's a case..."  
"Yeah?" He was feeling combative today. Since Helen had died, he was feeling particularly angry and depressed.  
"Well... we need your expertise. You haven't been in for two weeks. Please, sir?" She was hesitant. She knew how hard Helen's death had hit him. First their baby, then her.  
"Yeah, I guess I can come in. Might be the best thing for me."  
"Thank you sir," said Havers. She was quite relieved that he would come in. She had been able to handle the case so far, but she needed him there to advise in a couple of parts.  
"Welcome. Oh, and Havers?"  
"Yes, sir?"  
"I'll be there in an hour. Meet me in my office then. What time is it?"  
Havers looked at her watch. "It's about nine AM now. So, ten then?"  
"Yeah. Wait for me if I'm late."  
"Sure."

Lynley snapped the phone shut.

Soon enough, he was in his car driving to the Met. _Why the fuck am I doing this?_ he thought. _It's too soon for me to get back on a case. How can I concentrate on a case when I can't even stop thinking of Helen?_ Before he knew it, he was pulling up to his usual spot. It was funny; nobody parked in it, even though parking wasn't assigned. Everyone just knew.

He walked up to his office. Papers were strewn over the usually impeccably neat desk. Memos, phone messages, newspaper clippings and a tea cup. _Tea cup?!?!__Who left their tea cup on my desk? Who's been here?_ Lynley noticed that it was hot and prepared just the way he liked it. There were only two other people besides him who knew how he liked his tea, and one was dead. "Havers?" he asked.  
"Over here, sir."  
Lynley looked around his office, and noticed Havers over by the door. She was drinking some of the gut-rot coffee that the department brewed. "How long have you been here?"  
"Oh, only five minutes."  
"You're early."  
"Yeah. How're you holding up?"  
"Well. I could be better."  
"Ok. Could we close the door?"  
"Sure. What do you need, Havers?"  
Havers closed the door to his office. "Well sir, I was worried about you. You were away from work for two weeks. You never miss work."  
"Yeah, well..."  
"Anyhow, we need to meet with Hillier."  
"Bloody hell. I don't want to know what he wants to say to me."  
Just then, there was a knock at Lynley's office door. With hardly any hesitation, it opened, and Hillier poked his head in. "A word?"  
"Yeah, sure," said Lynley and Havers together.

Hillier came in. "We've got another murder down at the river. The bobbies just pulled him out."

_Fuck,_ thought Lynley. _This is what Havers wanted me to come in for. She has an amazing sense for these things. Although she didn't predict Helen._ "We'll drive," said Lynley.  
"Is that ok, sir?" asked Havers.  
"It's fine," he said. "Let's go." With that, they left, with Hillier standing there, dumbfounded. He'd expected an argument, at least between the two detectives.  
Lynley unlocked the doors to his car. They both slid in and fastened their belts. "Uhm, Havers?" asked Lynley.  
"Yeah?"  
"Where exactly are the bobbies taking the body out of the river?"  
"Over by the factory let out. You'll see all the lights and hear all the sirens and such."  
"Ok."

They drove for a while. It was quiet in the car; no radio, no speaking, and no grumbling. Lynley's mouth was set in a grimace. _Have I made the right decision? What if I'm coming back to the job too early? What if I can't do the job properly?_ He looked over at Havers. She looked away from him as soon as he looked at her. _She was staring at me!! She can tell!_

"Sir?" Havers broke the silence.  
"Yeah?"  
"You'll be fine."  
_Dammit, she can read my mind. _"Uh... well... thanks?" he said with some hesitation.  
Havers looked straight ahead. "Sir? The crime scene is coming up."

Lynley noticed the lights of the bobby's wagons. They flashed blue and white, suddenly very bright. He brought the car to a stop in a parking lot in front of a warehouse near the scene. Both of them got out of the car and walked down to the riverfront.

"Wha'do we 'ave?" asked Havers to the bobby guarding the scene as Lynley and she lifted the police tape and went under it.  
"Well, we've got some bloke dead. He's been dumped in the river, as you can see. He's all waterlogged, so we'll know more after the autopsy."  
Havers looked at the body they had dragged out of the river. It was a white male, bloated with water, and wearing concrete shoes. Lynley took one look at the body and felt sick to his stomach. He hadn't had much for breakfast, but what little he had eaten was starting to come up. He turned around and started running for a place away from the crime scene. Havers didn't know what was going on; she was talking to the medical examiner who was looking at the body they had dragged out of the river. "Sir..." she started, not realizing that Lynley was nowhere near her.

"He's run off," said the ME.  
"Oh, bloody hell," grumbled Havers. She took off in the direction of the sound of retching. She found Lynley hunched over a trash can, puking his guts out. "Sir, are you all right?"  
He stopped coughing long enough to reply, "That just... hit me the wrong way."  
"I think you should go home."  
"I'll be fine, Havers."  
"No, I think you should go home. You don't feel well. I can handle it."  
"I'm FINE, Havers!"  
"Yeah, right!"

The argument ended with both of them staring at each other, eyes angry and wild. Lynley shook his head, grabbed his keys and started off toward the car. "Wait," yelled Havers, "you'll need someone to help you!"

At this point, Lynley was in no mood to argue. He waved her off while she finished securing the crime scene. The coppers had done a good job of gathering evidence and there was nothing really more they needed to do. He got in the car and laid his head on the steering wheel. He wasn't feeling all that well.

Havers came back to the car and got in. All was quiet for a while. "Are you ok, sir?"  
"Ugh. I don't feel so good."  
"Drive home. I'll figure out a way to get home myself. Anyway, you look like you need someone to help you."  
Again, Lynley was too tired to argue. He drove himself home, with Havers in the car. After parking in the driveway, he went up to the door with his key. He felt like a drunk, fiddling with the key. Havers came up next to him, grabbed the key, and inserted it into the lock. She smiled slightly at him as she opened the door.

Lynley went in after Havers. He was embarrassed that he couldn't open his own door. Everything was really getting to him. He plopped down on his couch in the living room. Almost angrily, he grabbed one of the unread newspapers off of his coffee table and buried his nose in it. He had no clue where Havers had gone. _She's probably making herself at home._ From the depths of his kitchen he heard "Sir? Where's the teapot?"  
"It's in the cupboard over the stove."  
"Oh, thanks."  
"Are you making tea?" Lynley asked.  
"Yeah. You need something to calm your stomach."

Lynley just sat on the couch and leaned his head back. He was starting to get a headache and his stomach wasn't feeling any better.

"Here you go, sir." Havers set a steaming cup of tea on the coffee table. "Isn't it funny, sir? They call it a coffee table, but we set tea and newspapers on it."  
Lynley just looked at her with a look of confusion. "I guess." He picked up his tea and took a sip. "Fixed perfectly. You remembered."  
"Of course, sir. Why would I forget?"  
"I don't know."

They sat in silence, drinking their tea; Lynley on the couch, Havers on one of the chairs. Havers was visibly uncomfortable; she wasn't used to being in Lynley's home like this. She had been over to his home when Helen was alive. They had dinner all together. It was actually fun; Helen liked her and so did Lynley. She had started to relax in his home, with Helen there. Now she had no clue how to act. _Should I mention anything? I wonder what he's thinking?_ "Uhm... sir?"  
"Yeah, Barbara?"  
"Uhh... how're you holding up? I mean, after..."  
"I'm fine. It's hard to get back in the swing of things though. I feel so useless." He closed his eyes. His breath was becoming ragged. _Dammit, I will not cry!_ His emotions didn't listen to his inner voice though, and tears started to leak out of his eyes.

Havers noticed that her boss was becoming emotional. _What should I do?_ She was almost paralyzed with uncertainty. He leaned forward and put his head in his hands. It was then that she decided to act. Putting her tea down, she rushed over to the couch, sitting down next to him. She put her hand on his back, comforting him. Just then, he turned into her, putting his head on her shoulder. He was so exhausted. Everything seemed to drain him of his energy.

Barbara had no clue how to react when he buried his head in her shoulder. She had felt bold when she put her hand on his back, but now; now she felt even more paralyzed. She was almost in a daze as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug. He quietly sobbed into her shoulder.

She almost stopped breathing. His arms wrapped tighter around her. She knew she shouldn't feel this way, but she was immensely attracted to him at this moment. Havers shook her head slightly, as if to get the thought out of her head. _Just sit here and comfort him.__Don't think of _that. "That" was her slightly impure thoughts of her boss. Again, she shook her head, but the thoughts never left.

"What's wrong?" asked Lynley, muffled against her shoulder.  
"Nothing," answered Havers. "It's just..."  
"Just what?"  
"Just... I don't know."  
"Ok." Lynley had no clue what Havers was going through, but he was starting to have some thoughts himself. He had been attracted to her, of course, but not _that_ way. They were close colleagues; not lovers. Anyway, it was too soon for him to be jumping into anything involving his heart. Helen had left him several months before she died, but he wasn't over her. He would _never_ be over her. She was his perfect mate. Soul-mate, if you will.

Lynley started to move. He picked his head up off Havers' shoulder and looked into her eyes. She stared back into his; she had nothing to say right now. "Thank you," said Lynley. "I needed someone here with me."  
"Uh... you're welcome?" answered Havers. She was still having those feelings and was unsure of how to act. _Should I act on this, or wait?_ She decided to wait. If Lynley wanted anything, he'd ask. "Sir," said Havers as she handed him a tissue.  
"Thanks." He took it and wiped his eyes and his nose. It was just then that he noticed he had gotten Havers' shirt all wet. "I've ruined your shirt!"  
Havers looked down. "No, you haven't. I've got some more at home."  
"No, I'll get you something to wear!" he exclaimed.

Havers just shrugged as Lynley went up the stairs and rummaged through his stuff. He hadn't yet gotten rid of Helen's clothes, but he couldn't part with them just yet. He decided on a plain white, button-up shirt for her to wear. Quite simple, and he had many of them.

He came back down the stairs with the white shirt. He handed it to her silently and pointed toward the downstairs bathroom. She went in.

Taking her "ruined" shirt off and putting the clean shirt on, Havers noticed the surroundings of the small downstairs bathroom. The walls were painted a soft yellow hue and the fixtures were white. Simple, quite like Helen and Lynley. She took a whiff of the shirt, noticing the smell. It smelled like a combination of Lynley and laundry soap. She couldn't help but sigh contentedly as she took in the scent. "Mmmmmm..."

"Are you all right?" asked Lynley through the door.  
_Aaaaack! He heard me sighing._ "I'm fine," she said quickly as she opened the door and came out.

Lynley had heard a small sigh from behind the door of his bathroom. He walked over to the door and asked if she was all right. She was fine, but seemed a little miffed that he asked if she was ok. She came out of the bathroom wearing his shirt and he noticed how utterly attractive she was. Lynley shook his head. _I can't be thinking this! Helen's only been gone two weeks! _Well, she had left months before she died, but he wasn't over her. He shook his head again.  
"Are_ you_ ok sir?" asked Havers.  
"I'm fine."  
"Maybe I should go," she said. "You seem to have something on your mind."  
_I do_ thought Lynley. _You._ He said, "Maybe you should go. Would be the best for both of us."  
"Yeah," said Havers. She looked around. "Uhhh, sir?"  
"Yes?"  
"I don't have my car..."  
"Oh, dammit. I'll take you home."  
"Actually, could you take me to the Met so I can pick up my car?"  
"No problem." _Actually, this was going to be a big problem. Any more time with her, and I'm going to go crazy. _

They got in his car, again, and headed back to the Met. Again, there was no talking, no radio and no complaining. Havers just sat in the front seat of the car in Lynley's shirt, staring straight ahead. They reached the Met with no words exchanged. Havers exited the car and headed toward her car with a backward glance.

Lynley just let her go. His feelings for Havers were unresolved, but he couldn't resolve them right now. He had to just ignore them for the time being. Mourning for Helen should be his concentration right now.

He drove back to his house. Today had been draining and he had no desire to go back into the office at the Met. He pulled into the drive, parked and got out. Walking up to the door, he stopped at the mailbox and grabbed the mail from the past three days. He looked through it as he unlocked the door. _Bills, ads, and two magazines. _One was for him, the other was for Helen. _I'm going to have to get that canceled._ He was in the process of taking care of Helen's periodicals and whatnot, but he had missed this one. It saddened him to see her name on things.

There were also the feelings he had for Barbara that he had to worry about. _What was that about?_ he thought. _She comforted me today, but I felt something more. Maybe it was just the way I felt her hands..._ Her hands had felt particularly nice on his back. He hadn't had any female human contact since Helen left him, and that was even a few nights before.

Meanwhile, Havers went back to work. She had reports to go over. So much for Lynley's help. She figured that she could always ring him if she needed some advice. She wasn't even sure what he expected. She looked down at her shirt. Well, _his_ shirt. She smiled slightly. It still smelled like him. _Wonderful_, she thought. _I'm becoming infatuated with my boss. _She had read some psychology magazines about it, and found out that it was totally normal for some people to become interested in their supervisors for more than just business purposes. She shook her head again. _I've got to stop thinking of this._ She did what she knew to do when something was bothering her: work.

She covered all of the evidence in the case, going over all of the autopsies, the pictures and the witness statements. It looked like there was an American-style mafia that was running in the general area. They were putting people in the cement shoes and dropping them into the river. They had found three other men, all white, in the river with cement shoes. _A gunshot would be more effective _she thought. _Oh well._

Before she realized it, she had been working til 8 PM. It had been a long day and she was tired and hungry. She also wondered about Lynley. _Well, I guess it couldn't hurt to ring him_ she thought as she took out her mobile. She punched in his number and pressed "call" with a half-hearted sigh.

Lynley had just finished having something to eat when he heard his mobile ringing. He jogged over to the coffee table and looked at the caller ID. It said "Havers". "Hmmm," he said as he opened the phone.  
" 'Ello?"  
"Uhm," Havers was suddenly unable to come up with anything to say. "How're you doing?"  
"Fine. You?"  
"Fine." _Oh God,_ thought Havers, _this is positively awkward!_ "Uhm, sir? I was wondering if you wanted to have something to eat?"  
"I just ate, Havers." Just now, Lynley wished he hadn't had anything to eat. He would quite like to share a meal with Barbara.  
"Oh," she replied. "Well, then, I guess I'll just go home..."  
"Wait, Barbara," said Lynley.  
"Yeah?"  
"Come over. I've got some leftovers if you don't want to eat alone."  
"That's quite alright, sir. I don't want to interfere..."  
"Interfere with what? I have nothing to do and nobody to do it with. Just come over and have something to eat."  
"Uhhh..." she was stalling. _I shouldn't do that_ she thought.  
"Please?" asked Lynley. "I'd like to have your company.  
"Well. Ok."  
"Good." Lynley sounded relieved. "Be here in a half hour."

"Ok. I'll see you then." Havers snapped her phone closed. _Shit, I can't believe I just made a date with him. I don't even know if it's a date. Well, maybe I should change so I can give him his shirt back. _She looked down at the shirt. She almost didn't want to give it back. She loved the way it smelled.

Lynley snapped his phone shut. _I hope Havers doesn't misjudge anything _he thought. He really had to make it clear tonight what they were. Friends, coworkers, colleagues... nothing more. By the time the doorbell rang at precisely 8:30, he had convinced himself that that's all they were.

Havers arrived on his doorstep at 8:30 exactly. Usually she wasn't so punctual, but this seemed very important to her and Lynley. She pressed the button that activated the bell inside. She was quite nervous. She was going to tell Lynley that they were just friends. Nothing could happen between them, although she couldn't deny that her heart was telling her otherwise.

Lynley came to the door, dressed comfortably. Jeans and a t-shirt. _Oh my God _thought Barbara. _Does he want me to jump him? He looks so fucking hot._ She shook her head slightly to get that thought out of her brain.

Lynley opened the door to his house. Barbara was standing there, in his shirt, looking quite nervous. _She looks very cute when she's nervous_ he thought as he let her in. "Make yourself at home," he said as he went into the kitchen.

Barbara sat down on the couch, where the day's earlier activities had transpired. She shivered slightly, thinking about how it felt to have his arms around her. She was startled from her thoughts when Lynley called out into the living room, "Put on the telly if you want to. There's a cricket match on, as well as two football games."

"Ummm, ok," said Havers. She turned the telly on, and started skipping through the stations. _News, cricket, football, football, drama, comedy, American show, American show, another American show...__Wait, was that CSI?_ She flipped back one station, and tuned into CSI. She just loved the way the team worked together. She was also fascinated with forensics and American culture.  
"Ahhh, picked CSI, eh?" asked Lynley, as he placed a hot plate of food in front of her on the coffee table.  
She looked down at the food. Taking a whiff, she realized she hadn't eaten since 1 PM and that was a noodle bowl flavored with curry. She was famished. "Thank you," she said to Lynley, picking up a fork and digging into the leftover fish and chips on the plate.  
"Hungry, eh?" asked Lynley.  
"Yeah," said Havers, as she wiped her mouth with a paper towel he had put next to her plate. She finished up in record time, not leaving anything on the plate. "Do you have anything to drink?"  
"I totally forgot about that," said Lynley. "Yes, I do. What would you like?"  
"Water or Coke or something."  
"I'll see what I've got."  
"I have water." He brought the bottle of water to Havers on the couch.  
"Thank you, sir." She opened it and took a long swig.

Lynley had to look away from her neck as she drank from the water bottle. Luckily, there was the show on the telly to distract him. "CSI?" he asked.

"Yeah. I like the show. Is it ok if we watch it?"  
"Yeah, I've got no problem with it. I like the way the team works together."  
"Me too."

Lynley settled back on the couch to watch the show. Havers did too, but she sat slightly away from him. She wasn't sure what she'd do if she sat really close to him. The show was on, but neither of them seemed interested in paying much attention to it. They were more interested in paying attention to each other.

Lynley shifted over to allow Barbara to sit closer to him. He was taking a huge risk with this act, but Havers moved over into the vacant area. "Are you all right, sir?" she asked, as she settled next to him.  
"I'm fine. You?"  
"Yeah. Sir?"  
"Yes?"  
"Are we ok? You know, between us?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I didn't do anything improper earlier today?"  
"No, you were fine. I think it helped me."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. I needed some human contact. I haven't had it in a while."  
"Understandable."

They sat in silence again for a while. Lynley leaned his head back on the couch again. He closed his eyes and started to relax into a light sleep.

Havers leaned back into the couch as well. Her eyes became heavy; somehow she knew she shouldn't fall asleep on the couch, but she couldn't help herself. She relaxed and started to fall asleep with the TV in the background.

At 2 AM, Lynley woke up to something moving against him. "Ungh." He looked down and saw Havers leaning against his chest. She had pulled her legs up onto the couch and fallen asleep next to him. She must have moved around in her sleep, because she wasn't that close to him when he fell asleep. He moved around slightly, not meaning to wake her up. It didn't work. She woke up next to him.

She suddenly realized the compromising position she found herself in._At least we're both wearing our clothes_ she thought. Lynley realized what she was thinking, and before she could react and pull away, he wrapped his arm around her. "Uhm, sir?" Havers questioned hesitantly.  
"Mmm?"  
"Uhm... your arm..."  
"Yeah?"  
"It's around me..."  
"I know. Just go back to sleep."  
"Ok." Havers was too tired to argue. She fell asleep in that position, on the couch. Lynley also fell asleep. It felt nice to have someone next to him, sleeping.

Havers shifted in her sleep, again. This time, she was more comfortable, with Lynley's arm around her and all.

At 6:30 in the morning, the sun started to stream through the curtains in Lynley's living room. It woke Havers up, but not Lynley. She looked over at her sleeping boss and wondered what she should do. That Kinks song came to her head "Should I stay or should I go?". She decided to stay; at least until Lynley woke up. She didn't just want to leave. That would leave all of their feelings just hanging there, unresolved. She did have to go to the bathroom though, and extracted herself from Lynley's arm without waking him up. It was something she had learned back in school, when she actually had a boyfriend. She walked off toward the bathroom.

Lynley woke up without the warmth of Barbara's body next to him. _What happened to her? Where did she go? Did she just get up and leave?_ Lynley got up from the couch and looked outside at the drive. _Well, her car's still here. She didn't go very far._ Just then he heard the toilet flush from his downstairs bathroom. _She's in there!_ He walked over to the door.

Havers opened the door to the bathroom, and saw Lynley standing there. "Oh, you startled me, sir! I wasn't expecting you to be standing there!"  
"Sorry."  
"Uhm, sir? Did anything happen last night?"  
"No, we just slept."  
"Oh, good."  
The awkwardness built up between them again. Havers didn't want anything to be strange between them, so she said, "I'm sorry sir, if this is awkward."  
"It's ok. I need a little time to figure things out, but I think I know what I need."  
"Ok. I need some time too," said Barbara. "This is really strange."  
"Well. It's not as strange as it could be."  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well. Nothing really happened. You were comforting me. I'm sure things can go back to where they were." _Anyway, I hope things can go back to the way they were._  
"So... we're friends then?"  
"Yeah."  
"Ok," said Havers, with a slightly sad look on her face.  
"Is that the way you want it?" Lynley asked.  
"Yeah. We don't need anything else strange to happen."  
"Ok."  
"Uhm... I should go. I need to take a shower and that stuff before I go to work."  
"That's fine. Come back after work tonight, ok?"  
"Huh?"  
"Human companionship. I need some, and so do you. We'll have dinner again."  
"That's acceptable. I'll be here after I get off work."

Havers left, feeling better about what just happened between her and Lynley. Lynley watched her leave, feeling like things were changing in his life. For the better.


	2. What to do About 'This'

A/N: Sequel to Sadness to Happiness. Read that one to understand this one. Please! "Happy" by Martin Sexton off the LP "Seeds" is the title of the song.

Havers arrived at her flat at 7 AM after she had slept over at Lynley's house. It was strange, but she felt elated. It was then that she noticed that she was still wearing his shirt. She just shook her head and took it off in her bedroom. First, she had to shower, then eat something, then get to work before 9.

Lynley had moved to his bedroom. Barbara stayed overnight; nothing happened. Well, not _nothing_, since they did sleep together on the couch. He felt his heartstrings being pulled to her. He felt like he was betraying Helen because he felt this way toward Barbara. He just hoped she felt the same way.

Havers coaxed her Mini into the parking spot at the Met. She had a ton of things go to over, especially if Lynley wasn't available to help her. She went into the Met's front door, and was instantly bombarded with questions. Hillier had wanted her to do a press conference and hadn't consulted her about it first.

"Havers," stated Hillier.  
"Yes, sir?"  
"Press room. You have to go over this with the media, since you are lead on the case; what with Lynley out and all."  
_Oh, shit. Usually Lynley handled all the press and I'm able to do the legwork he needed. I preferred that. _"Ok, sir," said Havers. "Just one question."  
"Yeah?"  
"What do I say?"  
"What do you mean 'What do I say?'; you say whatever needs to be said. I'll handle the bits about who's working the case and also the identities of the victims. All you need to do is present part of the evidence. Just tell them that we found three bodies in the river, wearing cement blocks on their feet, white males, etc."  
"Ok. Thanks, sir."  
Barbara walked into the press room. It was a zoo of press photographers, telly news cameras and reporters. She swallowed before walking up to the microphone.

Pausing slightly, she collected her thoughts, then started in with her statement. "The police have found three bodies in the river, over by the factories in South London. They all have had cement affixed to their feet. They are all white males. The bodies came up waterlogged and bloated."  
The first reporter thrust her recorder up toward Barbara and the podium. "Tell us what the motive is."  
"It looks like an American mafia-style killing. Specifically, New York or Detroit."  
"What basis do you have for these claims?" asked another reporter, this time with a video camera.  
"Well, it's all just preliminary evidence right now, but that's my educated opinion."

At the last comment, Hillier said "No more questions for the lead detective. Thank you, Havers." She stepped down and exited out of the room as quickly as she could. She could hear Hillier talking about how many people he had working on the case and contacts at the FBI in Washington.

Barbara wanted nothing more than to get over to her cubicle and work on piecing this together. As soon as she got over there, Winston Nkata made a beeline to her desk. "Barbara," he said, "is it true you've been made lead on this case?"  
"Yeah," she said, looking down at her shoes. "I'm not sure if I can do it properly. I mean, I'm not as good as Lynley."  
"You'll be just great," he said with a toothy grin. "I have total confidence in you!"  
_Great,_thought Havers. _Now I've got Winnie to think I'm all great. It's bad enough that I'm dealing with the media with this._ She was snapped out of her thoughts with Hillier's voice.  
"Havers."  
"Yes, sir." Barbara felt dejected. She had failed somehow. _Not surprising, considering how many times I've fucked up in the past._  
"You were BRILLIANT in there. The media are lapping it up! They wanted something big for the twelve and six o'clock, and they got it! I love the way you presented the evidence, and your thoughts." Hiller was excited.  
"Uhm... thanks?" she said, questioningly.  
"Call DI Lynley and tell him he may have to move over. If this goes well, you might be promoted."  
"We'd be the same rank, sir?"  
"Yes. We need another Inspector on the team. We've got plenty of Sergeants right now." Hillier breezed off to his office. He left with a "If you need any help, feel free to call me! Nkata is assigned to you, so he can help you as well."  
_Great. Even more pressure. I've got Winnie totally impressed, the big boss totally impressed, and he's saying "Lynley may have to move over". Fucking great._

It was 12 noon before Lynley realized it. He needed something to eat, so he started preparing some food with the television in the background. He heard a familiar voice. "... preliminary evidence right now, but that's my educated opinion." It was Barbara. That perked his ears up. He missed her, even though she had just left him before 7 this morning.

"... lead detective. Thank you, Havers." It was Hillier.

_Lead detective? Was Barbara ready for that role?_ Lynley wasn't sure if she was ready for the responsibility of being lead detective on a case, but she would always come to him if she needed help. _Maybe we can work together on this one, even though I'm not official on the case. It would be like when she was on suspended leave._ Lynley smiled a little bit at that one. She owed him (even though he'd never admit it to her) for getting her out of her issue with the top brass. The best way for her to repay him for it was to do well in a lead role on a case. He had been encouraging her to take a lead role, but she had always refused, giving that over to him. Now was her time to shine. Lynley smiled to himself. At least it would give them something to talk about at dinner tonight.

Havers was exhausted after her press conference. She still had the photographs to go over, statements to go over and her theories to go over. She also wanted to contact the FBI BAU in Washington. Maybe they'd need a profiler. If these were mafia/mob killings, they wouldn't need a profiler. If it was a serial killer (with a strange way of killing) they would need a profiler. Anyway, it wouldn't hurt to call over there and ask.

Going over statements and photographs wasn't her favorite thing in the world, but she needed to find a connection with the killings. Then, she got an idea. Illegal dogfighting and gambling was a huge problem in the US, so why not in Britain? She started going over the arrests for dogfighting in the area where the bodies were found. It turned out that there was a crime ring operating in one of the abandoned warehouses there, and they were using the betting on the dogfights to finance their crimes. Anyone who couldn't pay got dumped into the river, Jimmy Hoffa- style. Or so she thought. She'd have to go over it tonight with Lynley. _Heh. Tonight with Lynley. Maybe things will progress some more. I don't know._

Havers finished up her work around 5 PM and was on the way out of the Met when Hillier called her over. "Yes, sir?" she asked, hoping that he wouldn't ask her to do overtime, since she did about three hours of it yesterday.  
"Havers, you did really well today. Get an arrest in this case, and I'll promote you to the same level as Lynley. You'll be a team."  
"But sir, we are a team..."  
"Yeah, but you'll be an equal team. And you'll have detectives under you. I wouldn't split apart a good team like you two though. You work well together."  
"An equal team? That sounds... nice."  
"Yeah. Now, get along home before someone else stops you."  
"Yes, sir." Havers hoofed it out of the building. She wanted to get over to Lynley's as soon as she could. _I hope my car will start _she thought with a sigh.

Meanwhile, Lynley was preparing things for Barbara's visit. He had made a simple, but satisfying meal of beef stew and rolls. Cooking was something that relaxed him. It made him feel like he was useful again. Maybe it was just having someone to cook for again that did the trick, but no matter. He wasn't going to question it.

Havers smoothed her clothes before ringing Lynley's doorbell. She at least wanted to look decent. She had brought the files from work with her, so she could go over them. At least they'd have something to talk about after eating. Awkward silence drove her nuts.

The bell rang inside Lynley's house. He had everything prepared for dinner. Walking to the door, he stopped for a minute and smoothed his clothes. Usually he wasn't nervous seeing Havers, but something had changed between them. He opened the door, and she was standing there, looking a little nervous, and clutching some file folders.

"Havers. Thanks for coming," said Lynley. "I've made beef stew. Hope you like it."  
"I'll like anything, sir. I'm famished." Lunch was a noodle bowl flavored with chicken this time.  
"Good. What would you like to drink?"  
"What do you have?"  
"I've got some local brew, Guinness, Killian's, and some strange American stuff: 'Miller'. I got it from an American friend. Also, water and milk."  
"I'll have some of that local stuff you said before," said Barbara.  
Lynley cracked two bottles of the beer and brought them to the table. "Well, sit down. You can do that, you know."  
"Thank you sir." Barbara sat down at the table. Lynley served her some of the food, and watched as she dug in, like a famished refugee. He started on his and pondered bringing up their relationship.  
Barbara took a long swig from her beer. This afforded Lynley a long look at her neck. _What was it with her neck? _he wondered. _It's like I'm a madman._ He was deep in thought about her neck, and didn't realize that he was staring. She grinned and asked, "Are you ok?"  
Lynley, startled that he'd been caught, just replied, "I'm fine."  
"Alright. Just making sure."  
They ate for a while longer. The food was delicious and both of them were satisfied after dinner. Havers sat back and asked, "Would you like some help with the dishes?"  
"Sure, if you want to." Lynley started clearing the table. Havers joined in. Lynley turned the radio on in the kitchen; there was an adult alternative show on. They came in right when the announcer was talking about the next song:

"And from the US of A, it's Martin Sexton, from his newest CD, 'Seeds'. The song is 'Happy'. Enjoy!"

And the song started:

"You and I here all alone  
Sunday morning here at home  
The sky is blue as the coffee's strong  
It's true  
But then I open my eyes  
To this dream realized  
In front of me  
Oh and I haven't got a clue

What in the world is happening to me  
I think I'm happy  
Like the first day of summer vacation  
Happy when I get some rest and relaxation  
Happy like the choir on Sunday morning  
Sweet and true

Sister when you cook that way  
Sweet distraction rules the day  
The kitchen table honey just might break  
To the sound of you and I rockin' our bodies  
I don't understand why I wasn't your lover man  
A hundred years ago  
The fellas are gonna have to understand  
And tip their hats to the man who scored  
Hot damn

I'm so happy  
Like lovin' you all night long  
Happy and sleeping on our front lawn  
Happy like hearing my favorite song on the radio  
Take me to the bridge

Cuz I've been round this world a hundred times  
And I never knew love could happen this way  
I think of you soften and I know that you are  
Thinking of me too  
That makes me so happy  
Happy like the first day of summer vacation  
Happy apple pie and relaxation  
Like peace all round the world we're living on"

Lynley and Havers just listened, all thoughts of finishing the dishes forgotten. "Wow. That song is really great," said Havers. "I didn't know you liked that type of music."  
"I usually don't listen to this, but I wanted something different. I really like that song too."  
"Dishes?" Havers held up a towel.  
"Yeah, I guess we should."  
They finished up the dishes and Lynley shut off the radio in the kitchen. "What do we want to do now?" he asked.

"Do you want to go over these case files?"

"Sure, we can."

The next two hours were spent meticulously going over the case files. Havers rubbed her eyes after the two hours were up and said, "I think we should quit for the evening. Anyway, it's 8, and I should go home..."  
"Barbara, wait!" exclaimed Lynley, as she started cleaning up the mess the files made.  
"Yeah?"  
"Could we at least watch telly or something together?"  
"We didn't watch that much last night."  
"I know. Let me turn on the cricket match."  
"Ok." Barbara wasn't much for cricket, but whatever to make the boss happy, right?  
They sat and watched the match. Havers was getting restless. The game was boring to her, but Lynley was fascinated with it. Finally, she got up to go to the bathroom. "Be right back," she said to him as she got up off the couch and walked to the bathroom.

Lynley shrugged. _She seemed bored with this match. Maybe I should put it on something else?_ He was pondering switching the channel, when she came out of the bathroom. "Wanna put on the radio?" she asked with a shrug.  
"Sure." Lynley shut off the TV and turned on the radio in the living room. He also dimmed the lights a little bit. At least if they fell asleep, then there wouldn't be much light to bother them.  
Havers settled into a comfortable position on the couch. She was a comfortable distance away from Lynley, so he wouldn't get a wrong impression. _They were just friends, right?_ Anyway, she wanted to at least let him make the first move. He was still grieving from the loss of Helen.

Lynley had that song in the back of his mind as he sat with Havers on the couch. She was close enough for him to touch her if he wanted to. And he really wanted to touch her. _I want to wrap my arms around her and kiss her on the lips _he thought to himself. _But I can't do that. It's not proper._

Havers was having her own thoughts. She wanted to scoot over to Lynley and lay her head on his shoulder. Maybe she would do just that.

The radio decided to play a long string of slow songs. Lynley leaned his head back on the couch and started dozing again. Havers leaned back on the couch as well, and started to fall asleep.

In her sleep, she managed to lay down on Lynley's lap. He felt something fall onto his lap, but paid no mind. He was exhausted. His hand slid down to her shoulder and rested there as they both slept.

They slept through the night, until about 7 AM the next morning, when the sun started streaming through the curtains. It was Lynley that work up this time, with Havers' head in his lap. He looked down at her; she was so peaceful. He smiled, and allowed himself the small pleasure of touching her hair while she slept. This woke her up, unfortunately. She yawned, stretched, and opened her eyes.

The first thing she noticed was that she was laying down. She didn't start out laying down. She couldn't help the small smile that appeared on her face.  
"How'd you sleep?" asked Lynley.  
Havers yawned. "Just fine. You?"  
"Fine." Awkward silence followed. Lynley looked down at Havers; she just laid there. "You comfortable?"  
"Yeah."  
"Well, my leg is falling asleep..."  
"Oh, I'm sorry! I didn't realize," Havers said as she sat up.  
"No problem. I just thought I'd better tell you before you got up and I started limping around."  
Havers smiled. "That would be funny to see."  
"Yeah, I'm sure it would be."  
Havers paused. She was thinking about what to say. "Sir, do you think I should call in? Maybe we could work on this," she pointed to the file folders on the coffee table, "and this," she gestured at herself and him.  
"Sure, if you want to. You never take any time off."  
"Ok." Havers dialed the number for Hillier on her mobile phone. "Sir... I want to go over this information with Lynley. I think he can contribute to the case, even though he's not working it."  
There was a pause as he responded.  
"Great. Lynley will be happy to work with me. You did say we were an equal team."  
There was another pause while Hillier talked into the phone.  
"Thank you sir! I won't forget it!" Havers snapped her phone shut, and turned to Lynley. "I've got the day! We can work on this together." she exclaimed.

Meanwhile, Lynley had disappeared. "Where'd you go?" asked Havers out loud.  
"I'm in here, Barbara."  
She walked in the direction of his voice, which happened to be in the kitchen. He was fixing some cereal and tea. "Looks good, sir."  
"First off, you can start by calling me Tommy or something of the like. 'Sir' just doesn't fit right now. And second, what kind of cereal do you want?"  
"Wasn't 'Tommy' Helen's name for you?"  
"Yeah." Lynley's face dropped. That was a painful memory. "But I prefer Tommy."  
"I'll have Cheerios." Havers quickly changed the subject.  
Lynley poured another bowl of cereal and sat down at the table. Havers followed. They ate their cereal in silence. The last comment was weighing on both of their minds. "I'm sorry, s... I mean Tommy. I didn't mean to make anything awkward."  
"Thanks for your concern, Barbara, but this whole thing is awkward for me. I'm not sure if I'm ready for this," he gestured between them with his spoon, "and I'm not really over Helen."  
Havers didn't want her boss to become emotional over his breakfast so she didn't mention it again for the rest of the time they ate.  
Lynley finished his cereal and tea, and put the dishes in the sink. Havers did the same. "S... Tommy, maybe I should go home."  
"No. Barbara, you're fine."  
"I didn't mean to make you angry with me."  
"I'm not. It's just... I'm not sure about how I feel right now."  
"How do you feel?"  
"I feel... conflicted," Lynley said, as they walked back into the living room.  
"Conflicted? How so?"  
"Well, I'm still in mourning for Helen. I should be. Even though she left me," he paused to take a shuddering breath, "months before she died, I still feel very sad."  
"That's understandable," said Havers.  
"How do you feel?" asked Lynley.  
"How do I feel? Well... uhm... I'm not truly sure."  
"Really? How do you mean?"  
"I don't really want to say."  
"Ok."

Another uncomfortable silence settled over them as they sat back down on the couch. Havers picked up the file folders from the coffee table and started going through them again. She notice a few more similarities in the cases. but nothing truly exciting. She took a sneaking glance at Lynley on the couch. He was just sitting there, watching her. "What's going on in your brain?" she asked.  
"I'm just thinking about... you," he said, pursing his lips. "How nice you look right now."  
Havers was dumbfounded. She had been looking over the files, but she was feeling his eyes on her, and they felt penetrating. "But s.. Tommy, I haven't taken a shower or anything yet."  
"That's ok." He slid over to right next to where she was sitting. "What do you feel like?" he asked.  
"I feel like... I want to..."  
Before she had a chance to form a complete sentence, Lynley leaned forward and kissed her gently on the lips. Havers closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss.

Lynley relaxed when Havers leaned into him. He knew he did the right thing and he got his answer about how Havers felt about him. He allowed his arms to wrap around her and hold her gently.

Havers was not only silenced vocally by Lynley's kiss, but it silenced her brain as well. Her brain turned to mush as he continued his slow meandering exploration of her mouth. She couldn't stop her hands from burying themselves in his hair. One of her hands moved down to the middle of his back.

Lynley had to stop for air. He pulled away so he could breathe, and he saw Havers' eyes open. She smiled at Lynley as he took a breath. She took the initiative this time, and leaned in to give him a kiss. That one lasted just as long as the other, and involved much more tongue.

They stopped again to breathe. Lynley looked into Havers' eyes and said, "I think I finally know what to do about 'this'." He stood up, grabbed her hand, and led her upstairs. He was "Happy" for the first time in about three months.


	3. Waking Up

A/N: Sequel to What To Do About "This". Read that one to understand this one.

Lynley woke up to bright afternoon sun streaming into his bedroom window. Usually he didn't sleep this long. There must be something wrong with him. He was surprised to find that he wasn't alone in bed either. A sleeping female figure was next to him. _Helen? _he thought. But, no, it wasn't Helen. Helen wouldn't be coming back, unless you counted his memories. He looked under the covers to confirm what he thought. Yes, the both of them were not wearing any clothing. That probably meant one thing: he'd had sex with the woman next to him.

It was that moment that the woman next to him in his bed rolled over to her back. He gazed upon her face and realized that it was Havers. _Barbara! _he thought. _What have I done?_ It was at that moment he started panicking. _What does she expect of me? I can't possibly be able to give her what she needs. She's so perfect though. I can't just leave; it's my house. Not that I'd do that anyway. It would be mean. Only a bloody jerk would do that; and I definitely don't want to be pegged as a bloody jerk. I probably already am for sleeping with her. Does she love me? Do I love her? Am I cheating on Helen? _All of a sudden, Lynley had the scary thought of Helen coming back from the dead and questioning him about his relationship with Barbara.

While Lynley was pondering his future and the spirit of Helen, Havers started to wake up. She was in a very comfortable bed, with warm sun streaming in through the window. It had to be afternoon; the sun usually wasn't this strong in the morning. _Where the bloody hell am I?_ she wondered. It was then that she looked over to her left. There was a dark-haired man lying there. _Lynley!_ she thought with panic. _I slept with Lynley!_ Well, she'd slept with him before, but it was on his couch. Quite different than the bed. The memory started to come back to her now. _We were kissing on the couch, and he led me upstairs. Clothes were removed, and some of the best sex of my life ensued. Yeah, that's pretty much it, _she thought. _I'm so screwed when he sees me. He'll hate me forever. I didn't mean to sleep with him! How can we work together?_

Lynley rolled over to his side, facing Havers. "Are you awake?" he asked softly.  
"Mmmmph, yeah," she answered.  
"Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine, if a bit confused," she said.  
"How so?" asked Lynley. "As far as I see it, we slept together."  
"I'm not confused about how," she said. "I'm confused as to the why."  
"Why?" echoed Lynley. "Chalk it up to how we've been feeling about each other?"  
"Chalk it up? There will be no chalking. What do you feel right now?"  
"I feel a little confused. And I feel like I betrayed Helen."  
"You didn't betray Helen," said Havers with a smile. "She left you, remember?"  
"Yeah. But I still feel her presence sometimes."  
"You don't believe in ghosts, now do you, Tommy?"  
"I'm not sure what I believe." He sat up in bed and swung his legs over the edge and stood up.

Havers looked away; seeing Lynley walk around casually without any clothes on wasn't something she was ready for. He was gathering her clothes into a pile on the bed. It was nice of him to do that. But still, he was wandering around with nothing on. Havers squeezed her eyes shut. "Do you mind?" she asked.  
"Mind what?" asked Lynley.  
"Mind walking around with nothing on."  
He looked down. "Oh." He went over to the dresser, grabbed a pair of shorts and put them on. "Better?"  
Havers looked over at him. "Yes. I'm just not ready for that."  
There was another awkward silence while Havers arranged her clothes on the bed. She wasn't really ready to get dressed in front of Lynley. Lynley took the hint and went into the bathroom.

As soon as he exited the room, Havers quickly got dressed. He came out about five minutes later, finding Havers dressed and sitting on the edge of his bed. He sat down next to her and put an arm around her. She closed her eyes and leaned into him. "What are we going to do?" she asked.

"I don't know. You still have the rest of the day off. I suggest you go home and shower. I'll do the same, and maybe we can go over the files." He was all business, even though all he was wearing was a pair of shorts.  
"Ok. I'll do that. What time do you want me back?"  
"Four. It's about 2:30 right now."  
Havers stood up, but Lynley stopped her from leaving by grabbing her hand. "I'll miss you," he said, as he pulled her close to him in a hug.  
Havers smiled. Lynley had a way of making her feel better. He wasn't rejecting her. He was merely suggesting that she get cleaned up, which is what she wanted to do. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. "I'll miss you, too."

His hands wandered down to the middle of her back. He massaged her slightly. "Move back, for a second," he said. She complied, and he stood up. This time, he took her in for another hug, and kissed her on the lips lightly. She relaxed into the kiss.

_Kissing him seems so god-damned natural,_ she thought. When the kiss was over, they both pulled away. She said, "I'll be back at four, but I have to leave first."  
Lynley smiled. "Yeah, I guess you'd have to do that." He walked her to the door and watched her as she left in her mini.

Lynley took a long, hot shower. He had to ponder what had just happened. Maybe the two of them could go for take-away at that Chinese place down the road. They could walk.

Havers coaxed her mini over to her apartment. She found a parking spot and walked up to the door. Grabbing the mail, she unlocked the door and went in. A shower and change of clothes was in order. She was thinking about having something to eat, but Lynley might have something in mind when she went back to his house.

Lynley was sitting on his couch, looking over the case files Havers had left. He wasn't sure she'd meant to leave them, but if she had, he might as well take a look. He noticed right away a connection to a similar case in the States. Going to his computer, he looked up the news articles about a gang related to the infamous Teamsters leader Jimmy Hoffa. His body was never found, even when they dug up that farm in metro Detroit.

Cement shoes seemed to be a favorite of the mafia-type gangs and the union related gangs in Michigan. _Maybe there was a connection,_thought Lynley. _Havers has a point there._ He heard his doorbell go off, and headed over to open it.

While Lynley was going over the case files, Havers packed a bag. She figured she might as well, if she was going to be spending her free time over at Lynley's. She'd need some clothes, toiletries, and a couple other things. She coaxed her little car back over to Lynley's house, walked to the door, and rang the bell.

Lynley opened the door to a much cleaner Havers, who was carrying a gym-type bag. "Moving in?" he asked with a grin.  
"I just thought..." Havers trailed off.  
"No, it's fine. It makes sense that you'd want some of your stuff here."  
"Where can I put it?"  
"Just leave it in the bedroom. We'll figure it out later."  
She went upstairs to the bedroom and put her bag down on the bed. She sat down on the edge of the bed and thought for a minute about her relationship with Lynley and where it was going. She was startled out of her thoughts when Lynley called up the stairs, "Are you ok? I was thinking of getting something to eat."  
"Sure, I'm a bit hungry," Havers said. She went down the stairs, and Lynley was standing there with his house keys.  
"Do you want to walk to the Chinese take-away down the street?"  
"Sure. I've never been there. Do they have somewhere to sit and eat?"  
"No, it's just take-away. But it's only about a five minute walk over there."  
"Ok."

They headed out for the Chinese place. Lynley looked over at Havers; she was walking with purpose. He was thinking about who would see them together, but then it dawned on him: _it really didn't matter. Havers was always around my house before. Why should it change now?_ He became bold at that moment, bolder than when he kissed her for the first time: he grabbed her hand as she walked next to him.

Havers looked down at Lynley's hand._Is he doing what I think he's doing?_ she asked herself. _Yes, he is! Hand-holding now. _She smiled up at Lynley. He was looking straight ahead. She walked beside him, pondering the implications of what he was doing.

They walked like that for the two blocks between his house and the Chinese place. He held the door for her; she went in. "What do you want, Barbara?" he asked.  
"Uhm. I'll have number two. Is that the special?" she asked to the man behind the counter.  
"Yep, sure is," he responded.  
"I'll have number three," said Lynley, as he pulled his wallet out of his coat.  
"Sir, you don't have to pay for my food!" exclaimed Havers.  
"Don't worry about it," he said as he paid for the meals.  
The man behind the counter just smiled at the two of them.

They went over to the chairs over by the windows and waited for their food to be ready. They sat and didn't say anything. Lynley wasn't sure what to say. _What do you say to your co-worker after you sleep with them?_ This was still a delicate subject for him.

Havers looked over at Lynley. He looked like he was deep in thought. _Maybe he's thinking about what to say to me. Maybe he's thinking about how to apologize for what we did. Maybe he's mad._ Although, if Lynley was mad, his expression would be different. She'd seen Lynley furious, and she'd been exceptionally frightened about what he'd do. Like that time he almost threw that professor off of the balcony of that flat. She was truly frightened at that point; she'd even tried to drag him off of the man. Lynley was possessed at that instant. At that point, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked over at Lynley; he smiled.

Soon enough, their food was ready. It was in one plastic bag; Lynley grabbed it and Havers held the door for him. They walked in silence back to his house.  
"Uhm, Havers? Could you hold this while I unlock the door?" Lynley asked.  
"Yeah, sure," she answered as she grabbed the bag.  
They entered his house again, and Havers set the food down on the kitchen table. She was sorting it when Lynley asked her, "Barbara, what do you think of me?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Well, do you think I'm a jerk for sleeping with you?"  
"No. Why would I think that?"  
"Well; I'm still hung up on Helen. She'll always be on my mind."  
"I know that, Tommy. You'll let go when you're ready, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"So, what you're saying is that you want to take it slow?"  
"Yes, something like that."  
"How slow? We can't back up now. I mean... we've been intimate."  
"That's true," said Lynley as he speared some of his chicken. "Do we want to back up?"  
"Back up? What do you mean?"  
"Like go back to where we were yesterday?"  
"Well... I certainly don't want to."  
"You don't want to?" Lynley felt relieved. He didn't want to go back to before they had kissed.  
"No. I don't understand why Helen left you in the first place. She didn't know what she had."  
Lynley smiled. "How do you mean? She lost the baby..." he trailed off.  
"Well, yeah, but you were there to support her! You didn't run off to do your own thing or anything. Even after she left, you stayed around. You waited for her. That's more than what I would have done for someone."  
"But I loved her. I still do. I think. I'm not sure."  
"What do you feel with me?"  
"I feel... like I felt when I met my first girlfriend back in school." Lynley sighed.  
Havers looked down as she scooped rice. "So... I'm a crush?"  
"You're more than that. You're a true friend."  
"So... I become a true friend by sleeping with you?"  
"No! I mean..."  
"If we're more than friends, but less than lovers..."  
Lynley looked down. He didn't like the way this conversation was going. Havers didn't get it. Well, maybe she did. Maybe he didn't get it. Being pulled two different ways is hard on the heart. He sighed. "Havers. I've liked you for a long time. We're friends. But, I'm not sure if I'm ready to change from a friendship to something more."  
Havers frowned. She looked at him; his eyes were on his food. "You're rejecting me?" she asked with a small hitch in her voice.  
"NO! Barbara! I'd never do that!"  
"It seems like that's what you're doing." She sniffed.  
"Don't cry! I didn't mean..."  
"I know exactly what you mean. I mean nothing to you!"  
"NO! Barbara!" Lynley got up from the table and rushed over to her chair. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her teary eyes. "I'm NOT that guy! I'd never want to hurt you!"  
"But you have, sir!" She spat that last word out.  
"Havers," said Lynley in his "boss" voice, "Stand up. Now."  
She was stunned that he'd talk to her like this now, but she complied. She was now standing at the table, and in front of him. He put a finger under her chin and pulled her head up gently so she was looking into his eyes. She sniffed slightly and tried to blink the tears out of her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her in a warm hug.

She wasn't expecting a hug from him. She was expecting a reprimand or something. But, the hug reassured her of one thing: Lynley wasn't rejecting her. He needed to go slowly with this new side to their relationship.


	4. The Case

Lynley and Havers stood there in an embrace for what seemed like forever. Lynley looked down at her; she had closed her eyes. She needed comfort. "Are you okay?" he asked as he ran his hands up and down her back.  
"Yes, I think I am. I understand that you're not out to hurt me."  
"I'm not. I'm just as apprehensive as you are."  
Havers sighed as she leaned her head on his chest. "Your heart is going pretty fast."  
"I was nervous."  
Havers looked up into Lynley's eyes. "You? Nervous?"  
"Yeah. It happens." He shrugged.  
"Should we finish our food?" Havers asked.  
"That's a good idea."  
They both sat down and ate some more of the Chinese food. After a while, Havers spoke up; "Should I stay?"  
"If you want to. I have no problem with it. We don't even have to do anything."  
"Thanks. I asked because I've been having some second thoughts about staying here another night."  
"Really?" Lynley was slightly hurt.  
"I didn't mean it that way! I just wanted a night at my flat. Is that okay?"  
"Yeah. If that's what you want to do."  
"Thanks. I've got a couple of things to do over there. You're really understanding."  
"That's me, understanding," Lynley looked sideways away from Havers.  
"I'll be back tomorrow. I promise."  
"You will?"  
"Of course! I have to go to work and do some serious info-gathering, but I'll be back after I'm done."  
"Good." Lynley was relieved. He was worried about how Havers was going to deal with how things were going.  
"Do you want me to walk you out?"  
"Yes. I'd appreciate that very much." Lynley walked Havers to the door. She put her hand on the doorknob and started to turn it, when Lynley wrapped his arms around her again. She smiled and reciprocated the hug, resting her cheek on his chest. He bent his head down and kissed her gently on the top of her head. She looked up and kissed him on the lips.

When they had to stop for air, Lynley asked, "I thought you wanted to leave?"  
Havers smiled. "Yes, I did. You're the one who had to hug me."  
"Ok. I'll let you go." He looked at her sadly.  
"Don't be sad, Tommy. I will be back tomorrow. I'll miss you."  
"I'll miss you too. Good luck on the case. Hold on a sec!"  
Havers turned around. "Yeah?"  
"How about I go over to your place? Something different?"  
"Ok. Sure."

Havers left Lynley's house. She got into her mini and coaxed it back over to her flat. All the while, she wondered about her feelings for Lynley. _He's really a good person. No wonder Helen snagged him up. But she treated him like rubbish. _

Lynley sat at home after Havers left. He was a little sad that she wanted to spend time at her flat, but he understood her need for some space. Things had moved very quickly between them. Maybe he needed some space as well. _Although, I didn't sleep well the past several weeks. When Barbara was with me, I slept much better. Maybe it's just having someone I care about next to me. I don't know._

Havers arrived at her flat fifteen minutes after she left Lynley's house. She had to shower and sleep before going to work tomorrow. It was going to be a long day.

Lynley went to bed soon after Havers left. He needed to get some sleep before he went over to her place. He also needed to clean up his house and do some other things. He laid down on his bed, closed his eyes, and fell into a fitful sleep. His dreams were filled with images of Havers and of Helen.

At seven the next morning, Havers' alarm went off. Groaning, she reached over and silenced it. _Ungh. I've got to go to work._ She dragged herself out of bed, showered, and went to the Met. As soon as she arrived, Hillier motioned for her to go to his office. She walked over there as soon as she dropped her purse off at her cubicle.

"What, no chance for a cup of coffee?"  
"I've got one for you right here." He gestured toward a foam cup on his desk. "You and Nkata are together today for the case. You get anything out of Lynley?"  
Havers took a minute to process what her commanding officer just asked her. Yes, she understood what he said, but her mind took a nosedive into the gutter. "I got a theory."  
"And?" asked Hillier, impatient as always.  
"And, he thinks it might have some connection to an American mafia or mob. The MO's are similar to what those groups use."  
"Any proof?"  
"Not yet, but I want to confirm with the FBI BAU from Washington."  
"Get calling then. After, I want you and Nkata to take a drive and try interviewing the families."  
"Yes, sir. Uhm... isn't it only about four in the morning over in the US?"  
"Bloody time difference. Yes. Call after lunch or something. But get cracking on those interviews!"  
"Yes, sir!"

Hillier nodded for her to leave. She left his office and went to her cubicle. Winston was there waiting for her. "What's first?"  
"Well, I'd like to call the families of the three deceased victims and try to get a background of them. We need to know where they were and such when they died. We also need to know who they associated with. Also, we should get a picture of what their financial situation was at the time of death."  
"Good idea," said Winston. "Do you have the phone numbers of the families?"  
"Yes, the numbers were provided when the families were notified of the deaths."  
"Good. Do you want me to call them and set up interviews?"  
"Sure. Just mention that there's some more information we need. Don't say anything about the American mob connection or anything," cautioned Havers.  
"No prob," said Winston. He set off to his cubicle to make the required phone calls.

Havers sat down in her chair and started going over photographs of all the crime scenes. They were all similar in nature, with the bodies coming up from the bottom of the river bloated and wearing cement shoes. _The gambling angle might be what I'm looking for_ she thought. _Maybe I need to go over this with Lynley. No, I won't. I need to trust my own judgment. I can't go running to him every time. Anyway, I've got Winnie to help me._ It was then that she was snapped out of her thoughts by Winston.

"Barbara? Barbara? Havers? Are you awake?"  
"Yes, Winston, I am. Sorry. I was lost in thought," she said sheepishly.  
"Yeah, that's fine. I've got the interviews set up. We're headed to the Smith's first, then the O'Hare's, then the last victim's family... Here it is, the Shane's."  
"Ok. Let's go."

They took Winston's car, as it was much more reliable than Havers'.

Pulling up to the Smith's house in North London, Havers and Winston looked at each other. Their eyes seemed to communicate, _nice house_. Havers and Winston walked up to the door. She looked over at him and he nodded; she rang the bell. A woman came to the door. She was dressed simply; jeans and a t-shirt with a cardigan sweater on top; sneakers. Havers looked at her thinking that she didn't look too bereaved. Although, the murder had happened a year ago; she may have had time to move on. "Mrs. Smith?" Havers asked.  
"Yes. And you are?"  
"Uhm, I'm Detective Sargent Havers of the Metropolitan Police. This is my partner Winston Nkata." They both showed their badges to the woman so she knew that they weren't lying. "We understand that your husband Steven died about a year ago?"  
The woman frowned at both of them. "You both had better come in."  
The two detectives entered the house. The woman lead them into the living room and gestured for them to sit on the couch.  
Havers and Winston sat down. Mrs. Smith sat down on one of the chairs near the couch. "Steven was a good man, but he got into some trouble."  
"What kind of trouble, ma'am?" asked Winston.  
"He had a gambling problem. He was always up for the next 'big thing' if you know what I mean. He played the ponies, bet on dog races, played slots and had recently gotten into poker. That bloody waste-of-time game! He even watched it on the telly to figure out how the professionals won. I kept telling him that he had to stop. Then one day, he figured it out."  
"When was this?" asked Havers, who had been noting everything down in her detective's notebook.  
"About two years before he died. He was going to Gambler's Anonymous, he had thrown away all his player's club cards at the casinos, threw away all his playing cards, stopped watching it on telly and even pledged to me that he'd never gamble again in his life."  
"Wow. So he went cold-turkey then?" asked Winston.  
"Yes, he did. He said that was the best way for him to 'get out of the game' as he put it. Things had gotten better. He was happier, we had more money to do things like take holidays. He took up fishing. His work was better. Before, he was making good money but he didn't really care about the job, as long as it paid off his gambling problem."  
"So," said Winston, "Things were better. He must have fallen into old habits at some point."  
"I'm getting there. Yes, he did. I guess the old adage is true, 'once an addict, always an addict'. He started to go out more at night. The six months before he died, I didn't see him at home on a Friday night at all. I thought something was going on, but he denied everything."  
"Was he still going to GA?" asked Winston.  
"Yes. He even had a young man he was mentoring. The young guy was really nice. We had him over for dinner. He was a Uni student. Up to his ears in debt from Uni, but he thought he could pay them off with the proceeds he made from gambling. His game was poker. He wanted to go pro like the guys he saw on the telly."  
"Did this young man stop cold turkey like your husband?" asked Havers.  
"No. He was doing a gradual step-down system. He stopped going to the casinos to play poker and he stopped going to his friends houses to play, but was still watching it on the telly."  
"So, the young man was on his way to recovery," said Havers.  
"Yes."  
"Do you have a name?"  
"Simon Shane."

Havers and Winston looked at each other, their eyes getting wide. _That was one of the names on their list of people to talk to!_ thought Havers. "So, there's a connection between Simon Shane and Steven Smith?"  
"Yes," the woman sobbed. "I think they were involved in something. Something big."  
"We hate to ask you this, ma'am, but have you heard of a Brighton O'Hare?"  
"Yes. He was the leader of the GA group my husband and Simon went to."  
Again, Winston and Havers looked at each other with wide eyes. _Another connection! _thought Havers.

"Ma'am," said Havers, "We'll be in touch with you if we need some more information. Is that ok?"  
"Yes. Please find out what has been going on! I need some closure with the death of my husband. He's been dead and buried for almost a year, but the police still have no clue of what happened."  
"Did the officer on duty ask you any of the questions we asked?"  
"No. They did a cursory search, asked me if I had any idea of what happened to my husband and that sort of thing."  
"Did you file a missing-persons report?" asked Havers.  
"Yes, but it was closed after they found the body. They found the body in the river close to where the most recent one was found. Cement shoes and all!"  
"They didn't suspect murder?" asked Havers.  
"Well, at first, yes, they did, but they didn't find anything relating to what happened. All the evidence had been washed away. No fingerprints, no DNA, none of that stuff," said Mrs. Smith.  
"They told you this?" asked Winston.  
"Yes. I asked them point-blank."  
"Well, that's a way to get an answer," said Havers as she furiously scribbled information down in her detective's notebook.  
"They didn't even investigate," said Mrs. Smith sadly. "I don't think they cared."  
"Well, we do care, ma'am," said Winston. "We'll get to the bottom of this. Here are our cards if you come upon some more information that you want to give us. We need to go talk to the other people involved in this crime now," he said as he handed the cards over to the woman. "We'll be in touch with any more information we can share with you."  
"I appreciate it very much," said Mrs. Smith. "Let me show you out."  
They walked to the door with Mrs. Smith behind them. "I will call as soon as I think of something more," she said.  
"Thank you very much, ma'am," said Winston. "We will be in touch."

The two detectives headed to Winston's car. Havers was going over her notes and clarifying things for herself. Winston started the car, and Havers asked, "What time is it?"  
"Look down at the bloody dash, won't you? I've got a clock there!"  
"Humph," Havers huffed, and looked down. "Two-thirty PM. It should be about nine-thirty AM in the States, don't you think? Maybe when we get back to the Met we can call those FBI agents?"  
"Yeah," said Winston. "But I think you should do the talking. You know more about the case than I do."  
"Good point. How about some lunch first?"  
"That sounds good. Fish and chips?" asked Havers.  
"Sure," said Winston as he turned the car into a small establishment on the left. He parked, and they went in.

They both went in, ordered, received their food, and sat down. Havers started picking through her fish when Winston asked "Anything new?"  
Havers almost choked on her chips when he asked that question. "Nothing, really."  
"Nothing? Really? You seem happier the past couple of days."  
"Good observation," she said. "I've been hanging out with people more."  
"Ah... a social life, eh?"  
"Something like that." Havers looked down at her fish and chips. _Should I tell Winston?_ she thought. Lynley was still very much on her mind. She thought of their relationship and how it was progressing. It didn't feel right to her, to tell Winston about them. He knew that they were close, but he didn't need to know how close, for the time being.  
"Shall we make that call?" asked Winston as they pulled into the Met parking lot.  
"Sure. I'll do it," said Havers. "Might as well."  
"Mkay," said Winston. He left to take care of some things at his cubical while Havers dialed the FBI in Washington DC.

"Hello, I'd like to speak to Special Agent Aaron Hotchner?"  
Havers paused as the man on the other end of the line identified himself.  
"Yes, I'm Barbara Havers from the Metropolitan Police department in London, England. We have a case that is puzzling us over here. We were wondering if there was a comparative one in the United States?"  
Hotchner responded.  
"Yes, well..." She proceeded to give the details of all of the murder cases they thought were linked. She also mentioned the mob connection that Lynley had come up with. Hotchner listened to her while she talked.  
He responded again, with a suggestion.  
"You think we should have a couple of your agents come over here and investigate? No problem. Who are you sending?"  
He talked for another couple of minutes.  
"Doctor Reid and Agent Prentiss? Yeah, that should be fine. Thank you." Havers hung up the phone.  
She walked over to Winston's cubicle and asked if he was ready to go do the second interview.  
"Yeah, sure," he said. "Will we have enough time for the third?"  
"Well, I'm not sure. If we do, then we'll go, if we don't then we'll call them and tell them we need to reschedule. Unless they want us to talk to them late. Doesn't really matter to me."  
"Ok. To the car then."  
Winston and Havers headed to Winston's car yet again to conduct another interview.  
This time, the house was in a slightly lower-class neighborhood from the first one. It wasn't run down by any means, but it was smaller. Havers thought that it was close to what she was working toward. Winston looked over at her and asked, "Are you ok?"  
"Yeah. Just thinking."  
He shrugged and exited the car. Havers did the same, and walked up to the door. She knocked and a woman came to the door and opened it.

"Mrs. O'Hare?" she questioned. Both she and Winston pulled their badges out of their coats and showed them to her. The woman squinted at both of the badges. When she was satisfied that they truly were members of the police she let them in.  
"I'm Sargent Havers and this is Sargent Nkata. We're re-investigating the murder of your husband and how it relates to the latest body we found in the river.  
The woman sighed. "They went over this when he died. Is this really necessary?"  
"Yes, ma'am. We want to solve this and stop another killing."  
"Well, you'd better come in, then." She opened the door the rest of the way, and allowed the two detectives in.  
"You're husband was the leader of a Gamblers Anonymous group that Steven Smith and Simon Shane were members of?" asked Winston.  
"Yes. He ran the group. He was a recovering gambler himself. He was free of his addiction for five years. Five years! Then he gets involved with Steve and Simon, and it starts up again! Those assholes! They allowed my husband to die!" At this, she started sobbing.

Havers and Winston looked at each other. They weren't totally sure how to proceed. Winston moved over to where the woman was sitting and touched her shoulder. "I'm sorry this is so hard for you, ma'am, but we need to get this information to put the person or persons responsible in jail." He tried to comfort her.  
She looked at the black man sitting next to her. She stopped sobbing, sniffed, and wiped her eyes.

"Sorry, this is just hard for me to deal with. It's only been six months."  
"Yes, we're aware of that, but there's been another body discovered. We think it may be related to your husband's death," said Havers. She opened her notebook and readied her pen. "Mr. O'Hare had a gambling problem?"

"Yes. He had it under control though. Brighton was attending and running the Gambler's Anonymous group you mentioned. He was mentoring Steve. Things were going very well, and he was 'off the wagon' as he put it. He said he'd never get back on, but he must've at some point. He started going out late at night, just like he had when he was gambling all the time. I noticed a problem when I found casino slips in his wallet one day when I was doing the wash. He'd left them in there."

Winston looked over at Havers. This woman wasn't telling them anything they didn't already know, but they let her continue.

She sniffed and said, "I confronted him. He denied everything at first, but then he started to break down. He said that he had joined a casino and was playing poker after work. He said he'd won a large sum the first time he did it, and it brought back his 'gambler's high' he called it. Then he started to play more."  
"When did he disappear?" asked Winston.  
"About three weeks before they found him in the river, near where your other dead man was found."  
"Thank you, ma'am," said Havers. "I think that's enough for now, unless you have something else to add?"  
"I hope you catch the scum that are doing this!"  
"Me too, ma'am, me too."  
"Thank you for your time," said Winston as he got up from the couch.  
"Just catch them, ok?" she pleaded.  
"We will," said Winston.

Havers and Winston left the house, and headed back to the Met to file paperwork and to record what they'd found. The drive was long, and they didn't get back until after five.

"Could you call the last family and tell them we won't be able to get to their interview?" asked Havers. "We can do it tomorrow."  
"Tomorrow's Saturday, unless you're planning on working on Saturday..." said Winston as he headed over to his cube.  
"Then schedule it for Monday. We need to take care of this as soon as we can."  
"Yeah, I agree," he said.

Havers sat down on her chair and started entering her notes into the computer. She had to organize them and such, as well as try to cross reference things between the two interviews as well as the photographs. Just then, her mobile rang. It startled her with its loud ringtone and vibration against her hip.

She looked at the caller ID and smiled. It was Lynley. "'Ello," she said into the phone.  
"I thought we were meeting for dinner at your flat?" he asked.  
"Aw, shit!" she exclaimed, gathering a couple of looks from the other late-workers in the office. "I totally forgot. It's like, 7:30 now."  
"Don't worry about it. I can go home."  
"You're at my flat?"  
"Yes."  
Havers sighed. "I'll be right over."  
"Ok. I miss you."  
"Miss you too." Havers snapped the mobile shut and smiled to herself.  
"Right over where?" asked Winston. "You seemed happy. Are you seeing anyone?"  
"Uhm. My flat. Yeah, there's somebody waiting for me. I promised them dinner."  
"Oh. A man?"  
"Uh..." Havers stalled.  
"You do! Barbara has a boyfriend!"  
"Shut up, Winnie. He's just a friend. We're gonna have dinner, and then he's gonna go home. Nothing to it." She gathered her purse and her belongings. "Now, I have to go."  
"Don't forget to kiss him goodnight!" sang Winston as she hurried out the door.  
Havers turned around and glared at him. She just hoped he didn't know who it was. She'd die if the other detectives, especially Winston, knew that Lynley and she were having a relationship.

Havers went out to her mini and prayed that it would start. It did, and she motored off to her flat.

She saw Lynley's Bristol parked in a spot outside her flat. He was waiting on the stoop, holding two bags. One looked like a duffel and the other looked like a take-out bag. He was also gathering some looks from her neighbors. She noticed Azahar looking though his curtains, as well as the nosy retiree across the way peeking through her blinds. She parked in a relatively close spot, and exited her car. She hurried up to the stoop, and unlocked the door.

Lynley kept trying to slide his arms around her. "Stop it," she hissed as she turned the knob.  
"Why?" he asked as they entered.  
She closed the door behind him and then grabbed his shirt and pulled him close, kissing him on the lips.  
"That was unexpected..." he said.  
"Thank you. I'm trying to be more unexpected. Also, I didn't want you to hug me on the stoop because my neighbors are nosy. They'll spend all of this weekend asking who is trying to make out with me on my stoop!"  
Lynley laughed. "I'm glad I live in an upscale, posh neighborhood, where people don't care what you do."  
"Lucky you. What'd you bring?"  
"Leftovers from beef stew night. You really liked it before, I figured..."  
"Thanks. I'm starving!"

She grabbed the take-out-like bag out of his hands and opened it at the counter. She divided the stew into two bowls and put the rolls on a plate. She slid both bowls into the microwave, pushed a bunch of buttons, and it started warming up. "Do you want to get some utensils out?"

"Sure," said Lynley. He opened up the drawers near the sink and took out a couple forks and spoons. He put them on the little table near her kitchen and looked at Havers. She was waiting impatiently by the microwave for the food to be ready. Soon it beeped.  
She took the bowls out of the microwave, stirred them both, and put them on the table. "What do you want to drink?" she asked.  
"What do you have?"  
"Uhm... Water, beer, Coke..."  
"I'll have a water."  
Havers went to the refrigerator and took out two bottles of water. She sat down again, and started digging into the food. "This is really good," she said to Lynley, "even better the second time around."  
"Thank you."  
They ate in silence for the rest of the meal. It was a welcome change to Havers' day. She'd been busy.

"How'd the interviews go?" asked Lynley after they finished eating.  
"Not too bad. The first one went pretty well and the second corroborated what we had from the first. All we have to do now is finish the third, which is scheduled for Monday, and we'll have the interviewing done for the victims families."  
"Wow. You've been busy."  
"Yeah. I also called the FBI. They're sending a couple agents because of an American connection."  
"Nice. Who?"  
"Agents Prentiss and Reid. I've heard Reid is a doctor. Interesting."  
"Hmmm," said Lynley.  
"Well, maybe I should clean this up," said Havers, as she picked up the dishes and took them to the sink to be rinsed.  
"You want help?"  
"Nah. I've got it, and I've got a dishwasher."  
"Ok." Lynley started wandering around her place, looking at her stuff. "Barbara?" he asked.  
"Whatcha need?"  
"Uhm... laundry?"  
"Aww, bloody hell. Let me take care of that." Havers had finished rinsing the dishes and then rushed out of the kitchen to the living room. She had been doing laundry the other day, and hadn't finished taking care of it.  
Lynley smiled to himself.

After taking care of her clothes, she came back out of her bedroom. He was standing there, looking bored. "Come in, if you want," Havers said with a small smile.  
"Uh, thanks?" said Lynley. He walked into her room. It was small, with a double bed and a dresser. "Double?" he asked.  
"Yeah. I upgraded in case I had an overnight guest. Hasn't happened yet," she said wistfully. Then she looked at him. "You were planning on staying?"  
"If you don't mind."  
"Of course not."  
"You brought a bag?"  
"Yeah. Just some extra clothes and stuff."  
Havers smiled. "What do you want to do now?" Havers asked nervously.  
"Anything you want," said Lynley, as he plopped down on the bed.  
"Mind if I sit next to you?"  
"Why would I mind?"

Havers shrugged and sat down next to him. She let Lynley wrap his arm around her and pull her into him. He lowered his head down and captured her lips in a quick kiss. "I'm glad you're in my life," Lynley said. "You've helped me get through so much of this stuff with Helen's death."  
"Well, some people would accuse me of taking advantage of you."  
"How so?" asked Lynley.  
"Well, your wife dies and two weeks later, I'm sleeping with you? Looks like I swooped in like a vulture and am taking advantage of you..."  
"You can't think that. I've thought about us for a while now."  
"Even when Helen came back?"  
"Yes."  
"Really? Interesting," said Havers. "I didn't think you thought of me like that."  
"Well," started Lynley, "I've liked you for a while."  
Havers smiled.  
Lynley continued, "I was considering asking to spend more time with you before Helen came back, but I didn't want her to come back, then I leave you. It's just too much."  
Havers smiled up at him again. "You are pretty considerate. But what I don't get is how quickly things changed. I mean, Helen comes back and you start doing whatever together..."  
"Say it like it is, Havers. We were sleeping together."  
"Uhm, yeah. Anyway... I just don't understand why you took her back."  
"She and I... have... had a strange relationship. I was, and still am, deeply in love with her."  
Havers looked down at her lap. "So, you don't love me?" she asked quietly.  
"I didn't mean that!" exclaimed Lynley.  
"You know I've been hurt before," said Havers.  
"Yes, but you haven't said anything about it, really."  
"No, because it's painful." Havers sighed. "I thought I was in a relationship where he really loved me. It was A-level, right before you go off to University. Although, I wasn't on track to go to a university. I was on track to go into a career-development program. Job-training, essentially. The young man I was with... he was about a year older than me. I thought he was the person I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was totally in love with him."

She looked up at Lynley, with tears in her eyes. Lynley looked down at her and kissed the top of her head. "You don't have to keep going if you don't want to."  
"I do. Anyway, we were together one night at his parents' flat. They were gone and we had the place to ourselves. It started out just fine, but I changed my mind near the end. He didn't like that and kept going." She dragged in a ragged breath.  
Lynley looked down at her. He was shocked. _No wonder she has such a bad attitude toward men sometimes _he thought. "Barbara," he said, "you're safe with me."  
"Thank you." It was at that moment the tears fell out of her eyes. Lynley wrapped his arm around her, and he lowered her to the bed and laid down next to her.  
They laid like that for a while, Lynley holding Havers while she sobbed. Her back was to him and her body was wracked with her private pain. "Barbara?" asked Lynley when it seemed like her crying had stopped.  
She sniffed. "Yes?"  
"Would you roll over, please?"  
This struck her as odd. She complied anyway.  
"Thanks. I wanted to see you."  
Havers frowned. "I don't think you want to see me right now," she sniffed. "I feel all.. icky."  
He smiled at her. He saw the trails on her face where the tears had flown. She was trying to wipe them away with the sleeve of her shirt, when he stopped her. "Don't," he said. He took the sleeve of his shirt and wiped the tears off of her face. She closed her eyes.  
"And then there's Azahar."  
This took Lynley by surprise. "Azahar?" he questioned.  
Her eyes where still closed when she told Lynley. "I thought I was in love with him too. We did have something, but his ex-wife by British law, wife by Hindu law keeps coming back into his life. It's very complex, and we've decided not to pursue anything."

Lynley looked down at Havers. Her eyes were still closed. He paused. This was something he wasn't too sure about. "So, he's divorced by British law, but still married by Hindu law?"

"Something like that. He had a hard time explaining it, so we decided not to pursue a relationship right now. That kind of broke my heart."  
"You have a good way of hiding that. I wouldn't be able to."  
"You're a part of the upper class!" exclaimed Havers. "Stiff upper lip and all that BS."  
"Yeah, but it doesn't work that way."  
Lynley closed his eyes and held Havers closer to him. He had this overwhelming urge to protect her, even though all he could do was to hold her while she poured her heart out to him. She shivered.  
"Are you cold?" asked Lynley.  
"Yes. Should we pull the covers up?"  
"Good idea." Lynley took his shoes off and put them under the bed. He also took Havers' shoes off and put them next to his. She pulled the covers down and they both slipped in under them. "Warmed up?" he asked her.  
"I feel better now," said Havers.  
"Are you sure?" asked Lynley.  
"Yeah."

Havers closed her eyes and relaxed. The last time she had a man in her bed was when Azahar came over and they fooled around. Granted, he did stop when she asked him to, but her bed was a place she wasn't comfortable with anyone else in it besides her. Lynley wasn't going to push. She snuggled against him. It was different with him. She felt safe.

Lynley felt Havers relax and snuggle into him. He was wonderfully comfortable under the covers of her bed with her. His body, unfortunately, was reacting to her closeness. He didn't want to convey that all he wanted was to have sex with her. Actually, it was totally on the contrary. He just wanted to sleep with her next to him. _Maybe things will change in the morning_ he thought. Although, he shouldn't push in the relationship. He closed his eyes and soon fell asleep.


	5. The Weekend

Lynley woke with a start. He was in an unfamiliar bed with a woman next to him. He was dressed in the clothes he had worn the previous day. He felt grungy; he wasn't used to sleeping in his clothes. The woman next to him started to wake up. He rolled over. He wasn't sure he was ready to face the woman next to him, although he had a good idea of who it was.

"Mmmmmm, Tommy?" asked Havers, her eyes opening slightly.  
"Yes?" Lynley asked.  
"You're not used to waking up next to somebody, are you?"  
"Well... Since Helen..."  
"Yeah, I get it."  
Lynley sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "You're mad at me."  
"No. Tommy, I didn't mean for it to sound like that..." She rolled over and looked at him. He was all tousled. _He is absolutely adorable_ she thought. "Come here," she said.  
Lynley looked over at her, like he didn't believe she'd just issued him an order. "And what'll you do if I don't?" he asked.  
"Tommy..." Havers mock-glared at him. "I might just do... this!" she said as she sat up, and in one quick motion, sat on top of him and pinned his arms over his head.  
"Whoa, I didn't know you had it in you," said Lynley as he looked up at the woman who was pinning him to the bed.  
"What do you want from me?" she asked, her voice getting low. She lowered herself to him and kissed him on the lips. She also loosened her grip on his wrists. He took this opportunity to free his arms and wrap them around her middle.  
"I think you know what I want from you," he whispered in her ear.  
She felt his arousal push into her midsection. She closed her eyes. "Mmmmm... yeah..."

Just then, she heard her mobile phone go off. "Bloody hell!"  
"What?" he asked.  
"Goddamn mobile. Hold on for a minute." She got up and flipped the device open. "Havers!" she almost barked into the mouthpiece.  
She stood and listened for a good half-minute before she had a chance to respond.  
"Yeah, I'll come and pick you up. Do you have a hotel reserved?"  
Havers was silent once again as the party on the other end was talking.  
"Ok. I'll be over in a bit. Heathrow, right?"  
A confirmation given and she snapped the mobile closed.

"I've gotta go," said Havers as she ran a hand through her tousled hair.  
"But--" Lynley said but was cut off.  
"I've gotta go Tommy. This is business. The people from the US are here. The FBI agents? You know?"  
"Yeah. Should I tag along?"  
"I wouldn't be opposed. Clean clothes?"  
"I've got some in my bag."  
"Shower?"  
"No time."  
"Well, I've got about an hour. Not too much longer though."  
"That's enough time," said Lynley as he grinned mischievously.

Before she knew it, Havers and her boss-turned-lover were in the shower. "Tommy, we only have an hour..." she started to protest, but he was washing her hair. Every muscle in her body relaxed. He slid his arms around her and held her under the spray of the warm water.

"Barbara," whispered Lynley. He slid his hands down her front, pausing on her stomach. She leaned her head back into his chest.  
"Tommy..." The water poured over them. "We have to finish up and get to the airport."  
"But..."  
"No buts. We have to get there. This is important."

Havers finished washing herself. Lynley did too, and he reached over her shoulder and shut the water off after they were done.  
Soon enough, they were dressed and in Lynley's car. "Heathrow, right?" he asked.  
"Yes." Havers was thinking about the two FBI agents they were going to meet. Dr. Reid sounded like an American version of a tweed-wearing professor. She wasn't sure about agent Prentiss.

"What are you thinking?" asked Lynley.  
"I'm thinking about these agents we're going to meet. I'm a little nervous."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah."  
"Why? You've talked to Americans before."  
"Yes, but these Americans are from the FBI!" exclaimed Havers.  
"Everything will be fine. Trust me."

Havers sighed as Lynley drove to the airport.

Lynley looked over at Havers. She was deep in thought.


End file.
